“Humans weigh choices in a brain network called the valuation system. It’s where we identify the options we’re choosing between, calculate the likely reward for each and make a choice. Close-to-home rewards ignite the system that pushes us to act. But when the rewards are distant or vague — such as influencing a sweeping government policy or making a major life change — the brain struggles to see the payoff, and motivation falters. That’s why doughnuts can win out over our health goals and why we might binge-watch a show instead of going to a town meeting, even if we’d say that the latter actions are more compatible with who we want to be.
In brain scans, neuroscientists like me can see these processes unfold. Rewards that are far in the future, situations that are geographically far removed or events happening to someone else are all represented in similar ways; future you is akin to an acquaintance. The less vividly we imagine a reward, the less weight it gets in our value calculations. But when we try to motivate ourselves, we often focus on long-term benefits rather than nearer-term rewards. We’re working against our brains when we try to motivate ourselves this way. [..]
When we imagine we’re acting alone, we give up one of the most important and powerful sources of reward and resilience: our connections to others. Our brains are equipped with a social processing system that is engaged in thinking about other people’s minds and helps us understand and connect with them — including people who have labored on similar causes before us. When we feel connected, it immediately produces activation in the reward system and changes our value calculations.
My research team and I use social rewards in the lab all the time: For instance, we set aside time to do our least favorite tasks together. The commitment to show up for someone else makes it easier to start a task, being together makes the task more fun and seeing the people who will appreciate and benefit from that work provides meaning. Those achievements can then help motivate us to attain future successes. Now our team is using social rewards to help address our funding crisis, working together to build a website that tracks research cuts nationwide, and bring others to the table as we take broader action. Critically, just as other people influence us, our decisions influence them, spreading the choices we value.
Experiment after experiment shows that when the people around us care about something, our valuation system is inclined to value it more, too. People make healthier eating choices, get more exercise, choose to donate more to charity and are more likely to vote when they see that others value those decisions. The same tools work for other decisions as well. For instance, it’s easier to swap social media for reading when you have a regularly scheduled book club with friends.
Another tool that helps reframe decision-making is comparing where you are with where you want to be, and then using if/then planning to bridge the gap. If I want to be more physically fit, then I might decide to bike to work — and to facilitate that goal, I can decide that if it isn’t raining in the morning, then I’ll ride my bike instead of driving. This creates a concrete cue, making the immediate decision easier while helping achieve a longer-term ambition.
Other small shifts in how we think about our decisions can also make meaningful change easier and more sustainable. You could reframe your goal to stay healthy so you’re focused on the tastiness of foods that are also good for you, rather than just focusing on the physical consequences. Similarly, letting children read books they like and that interest them may be more motivating than focusing solely on their long-term academic prospects.
It is worth taking time to find these double wins — actions that are rewarding now and meaningful later. Sometimes the right choice is to rest or have a treat, but it’s critical to have the tools to make high-stakes choices, too. You don’t have to do everything, and there’s no single correct way to take action. But by making choices based on your goals and values, you’ll influence not just yourself but also those around you. Achieving hard things and experiencing joy in the process can go hand in hand, especially when we work together.”
Full article, E Falk, New York Times, 2025.7.6